“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
My life is a joke. Seriously though lol the things that happen like…its crazy. But we’re here today cuz I got ghosted on….again…
Ghosted (v.)- When you are talking to a potential significant other or person you’re interested in getting to know better and all of a sudden they disappear and your phone calls, text messages, and DM’s go unanswered with out an explanation, indefinitely. – Dictionary of Sherrell
Should I bother with the details or are we over it at this point?? I know I’m over it, but I might as well share and try to be brief.
Soooo…this guy requested to follow me on Instagram a few years ago. We had some mutual followers and he looked familiar so I just accepted the request and didn’t really think much of it. I think I posted a pic of my brother one day and he mentioned that he remembered him from hoopin’ back in the day. I’m like oh that’s cool …and that was that. Fast forward to when I was frequently posting about how much I hated mowing the lawn. He replied how he’d do it for me. So we joked a few times about it but I never took his offer serious. One day, we randomly ran into each other at a bar. I didn’t recognize him, but he recognized me. We ended up exchanging numbers a few days after that and starting “talking.”
First date was AMAZING! Showed up to pick me up. Rung the doorbell to let me know he was there (instead of just shootin’ a text) with two dozen roses in hand. I’m talkin’ opening doors, fancy restaurant, good conversation, and we even had unplanned outfit coordination going on. Actually the next 4 or 5 dates we still had that unplanned outfit coordination going on.
It was cute. It had been a while since ya girl been wined and dined so he really had me feelin’ special. Like call ya girls and giggle, butterflies in your stomach, can’t stop smiling kinda special. So much so that we were basically together. Not like the typical situationship together, but like next level meeting family together. Cuz once that happens, it’s basically boyfriend-girlfriend official. HE ASKED TO MEET them so I set up dinner with my mom and Defender of the Night (aka my Dad). I invited my brother and sister-in-law of course as buffers lol. My dad couldn’t make it because he was sick, but I think it went pretty well. He paid for my moms meal and enjoyed the rest of the day.
Our last date, before the disappearing act, we were supposed to cook together. It was gonna be real cute. I bought matching aprons and everything lol. But, I was DYING with what was probably the flu so he just cooked and told me to watch. Dinner was great and he told me he’d bring me soup the next day and medicine to help me feel better. That morning he asked if I was ready for soup. I told him give me an hour to actually shower and get dressed. Hit him back up and he never showed…. I figured he was busy, or got called into work, or had a family emergency and I was too sick to really worry that day.
But one day, turned into the weekend, which turned into a week that I hadn’t heard from him. I mean we go from talking everyday, all day to NOTHING. I was legit panicking like looking at Mobil patrol, accidents in the area that past week, obituaries, everything. I really felt like something bad might have happened to him or his family. I left phone calls, texts, voice messages, instagram messages, and facebook messages and after a few weeks I was just like eff it and deleted and blocked him lmao. I know it makes absolutely no sense, but don’t judge me. I was going from worried, to sad, to angry and cycling back around. The range of emotions I felt with-in that time period was crazy. And I guess I just wanted it to stop. It was only for a day or two. And he could have contacted me within that time buuuuut I guess we’ll never know.
Anyway, about a month and a half later everyone’s asking about home boy and I’m like numb at this point. Hittin’ em with the ***kanye shrug*** and changing the subject lol.
But I randomly searched his facebook one day and saw that he posted. I called him, obviously it went to voicemail, and I let him have it!!!
I’m lying lol. It was more so along the lines of:
“I saw you posted on facebook… I was worried about you….nice to know that you’re actually alive….I won’t bother you any more….all the best to you and yours…”
ANNNND that’s that…
Either God is blocking me from ALOT of non-sense and unnecessary stress with all the Ghost stories I have on my book shelf.
Karma is paying me a visit because I may or may not have ghosted on a couple people in my younger years. (And I am sincerely sorry for that!)
Either way. I accept it…
I’m gonna continue my single season and continue to enjoy it. I’m going to keep going on trips. Keep crossing off things on my bucket list. Keep seeking knowledge, growth and development.
Keep Start working out consistently. I’m gonna drink my water and mind my business. Why? Cuz life don’t stop just cuz someone leaves out of it.
Don’t feel incomplete, because I PROMISE that person did not complete you. They may have complimented you. May have brought the best out of you. May have inspired you. May have made you feel special. But honestly……all they probably really did was shed light on whats already there. So there’s no need to hold your breath waiting for someone to come along and do all those things for or with you. Your dreams might die waiting. Your drive might die waiting. Your hope might die waiting. Your love might die waiting. And there goes your life…. wasted because you were waiting stagnantly. The “waiting period” is important but, be active in you’re waiting. Shine bright on your own. Motivate yourself. Accomplish personal goals. Bring out the best in your self. Treat yourself and feel special. So when someone comes along and takes over for you:
- You already know your value
- You already know what you want and need……and
- The things that are done for and with you won’t be such a surprise, leaving you to remember to hold the person accountable to bring more to the table than just material things and memories.
Moral of the Story….
The Glow up has been real…
“Glow Up (v.) – To go from the bottom to the top to the point of disbelief. An incredible transformation.” – Urban Dictionary
This ugly duckling has definitely turned into a swan baby! Everyday, evolving. I’m poppin’!
Back then they didn’t want me, BUT NOW….
….they clearly still don’t
But it’s ok. Cuz I want me! And right now that’s all that matters. Be Encouraged. Yea, some days you may feel like the ugly duckling, but it gets better at some point…..eventually…one day…in the future…
Ugly Duckling Chronicles: It’s Not You, It’s Me
Love this post, Sherrell! Thanks for sharing with us!
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Thank you for taking the time to read it!!! Really appreciate it!
Sherrell, all I can say is menfolk are wickity wickity wickity wack. They are so unpredictable and can be total douches. That has nothing to do with you.
You aren’t an ugly duckling, you’re a swan goddess. 💜
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Yea girl! That whole situation was whack!!Thank you for taking the time to read and thank you for the compliment 🌟
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